I never dreamed I’d be a person who spent the biggest part of my adult life alone. I was brought up with the expectations of being a wife, mother and homemaker. Even though I wanted to be a teacher, I always thought I’d have a husband and house full of kids to go with it.
I never planned on being divorced early in my life or having only one child. I never planned on being single for so many years. But I have always determined that it is best to trust the Lord and make the most of what we’ve got. I have never been truly alone in all these years because my faith in God sustains me.
When we are strong and healthy, surrounded by friends and family, being single and living alone is fine. There is a freedom to come and go, set goals, follow God, travel, and embrace what life has to offer. If only we could live out all of our days like that, it wouldn’t seem like it was a sad thing.
I don’t know what the future holds, but living alone may not always be where I find myself. I’ve always remained a romantic at heart and still believe that if God has someone for me, He will arrange our meeting or crossing paths again in the appropriate time. It may be that I will have relatives living with me or I with them in the future. I will take life as it comes and try to make the most of it.
As I grow older, I have begun to see people around me lose their spouses and the chaos it causes them as they try to learn to live alone again after a lifetime spent with someone they loved and with whom they shared everything. To me, this has to be the most demanding time in a person’s life, far more than any other challenge they must face.
I am content with my life as it is, but always hope to enlarge my borders. As in the prayer of Jabez, (KJV) “And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.”
The New International Version says it like this, “Later on, Jabez called on the God of Israel, asking him, “…whether you would bless me again and again, enlarge my territory, keep your power with me, keep me from evil, and keep me from harm!” And God granted what he had requested.”
He was not a major character in the Bible, but his prayer was worthy of recording and is repeated by many people around the world in Christian circles.
I did well on my own after my mother returned home from my knee replacement surgery. I’ve spent the last two months pretty much alone. It has been a time of reflection, healing, and growth. I have become more and more restless during the last few weeks, but got a great report from the doctor last week and am ready to get back to normal as much as possible, using common sense.
This week-end, however, I was either hit with food poisoning or a stomach bug that was truly scary because it was so violent. I will admit that I was afraid to be alone, afraid I’d pass out in the floor, hit my head on the way down, etc. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt more sick, miserable and vulnerable.
Even then, I know that there were angels watching over me, and people praying for me. If our trust is in God, we are never truly alone.
Reach Judith Victoria Hensley at [email protected] or on Facebook. Check out her blog: One Step Beyond the Door.